# The Dilemma of Choosing Parenthood A forty-year-old woman questions whether to pursue parenthood despite her current life satisfaction. - **Source:** [Internazionale](https://www.internazionale.it) - **Published:** 2026-11-12 - **Topic:** [culture](https://brifing.si/c/culture) - **Original article:** - **On Brifing:** https://brifing.si/s/7150e355-00d3-4c62-83ae-efea1dc56564 ## The Core Dilemma Marilù, a forty-year-old woman, shares her struggle regarding the decision to have a child. Despite enjoying a stable relationship, secure employment, and a supportive social circle, she remains deeply uncertain. She notes that while many people are certain about their reproductive choices, the middle ground of indecision is rarely discussed openly. ## Age and Timing The response highlights that while waiting is a simple strategy for twenty-year-olds, the passage of time changes the nature of the choice. At forty, delaying the decision to have children gradually transforms into a de facto decision not to have them. This shift creates a unique pressure that younger individuals do not face. ## Evaluating Current Satisfaction The author observes that Marilù describes her life using exclusively positive terms like wonderful, beautiful, and secure. Such high levels of contentment make the hesitation understandable, as parenthood would fundamentally alter the existing ingredients of her life. The central question is whether a child would enhance this beauty or disrupt a fragile equilibrium. ## Analyzing Past Choices A critical point raised is why the couple has not had children yet despite being in favorable conditions. If they have intentionally or unintentionally avoided parenthood until now, it might indicate a lack of genuine desire. The current indecision could be a projection of potential future regret rather than a present, pressing need. ## Social Expectations vs Reality Society exerts significant pressure on individuals to pursue parenthood as a standard life milestone. The author suggests that Marilù's doubt might stem from the fear of wanting something that contradicts these societal norms. Admitting to being happy without children requires a level of courage that many people find difficult to sustain. ## The Fear of Regret The analysis posits that the fear of missing out on parenthood often masks a deeper comfort with one's current lifestyle. By focusing on the potential for future regret, individuals often ignore their current reality. It is essential to distinguish between a genuine longing for a child and the fear of societal judgment. ## Reframing the Question Instead of asking whether they should have a child, the couple is encouraged to examine why they have not done so already. This shift in perspective moves the focus from external expectations to internal motivations. Understanding the root of their hesitation is more important than finding a definitive answer to the question. ## Final Considerations Ultimately, the decision rests on whether the couple truly desires to change their established life path. The author leaves the final answer to Marilù, emphasizing that there is no universal right choice. Recognizing that a child-free life can be complete and fulfilling is a valid conclusion in a modern, diverse society. ## Sources covering this story - https://www.internazionale.it/magazine/claudio-rossi-marcelli/2026/11/12/il-grande-dubbio — --- _Summary written by Brifing from the original reporting. Copyright in the original article belongs to its publisher; read the full piece at the link above._