# Effective Communication Strategies for Parents of Young Swimmers Expert advice on balancing parental support with athletic development for young children. - **Source:** [SwimSwam](https://swimswam.com) - **Published:** 2026-11-09 - **Topic:** [careers](https://brifing.si/c/careers) - **Original article:** - **On Brifing:** https://brifing.si/s/bac843fc-bf4e-4a07-8048-8c3e9ace0cac ## The Power of Silence Coach John Lupton suggests that parents of young swimmers should often remain silent regarding their children's performance. While parents naturally want to motivate their children to maximize potential, unsolicited advice frequently leads to resentment. Children must navigate the sport's inherent challenges, such as difficult practice sets, at their own developmental pace. ## Coaching Your Own Child Managing the dual role of father and coach requires strict boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Lupton observes that his son, Cartter, is eager to please, which makes technical instruction easier but increases the emotional stakes. He emphasizes that the coach-athlete dynamic must remain distinct from the parent-child bond at home. ## Establishing Professional Boundaries A veteran coach once advised Lupton to leave swimming discussions at the pool, a policy he has followed for eight years. Despite the temptation to praise good practices or analyze specific exercises at the dinner table, Lupton avoids these topics. This separation protects the child from feeling constant pressure to perform. ## Navigating Performance Anxiety Young athletes often experience significant anxiety before major events, such as the 100-meter backstroke. When children express fear about potential race outcomes, they are seeking reassurance rather than technical analysis. Providing a calm, neutral presence helps children process their nerves without feeling that their self-worth is tied to race times. ## The Danger of Conditional Praise Lupton intentionally avoids praising his son for specific swimming achievements at home to ensure his love remains unconditional. By keeping his demeanor consistent regardless of success or failure in the pool, he prevents his son from equating athletic performance with parental affection. This stability is crucial for the child's emotional development. ## Understanding the Child's Perspective Children are naturally philosophical and often fixate on fundamental questions about their athletic future. When Cartter asked what would happen if he performed perfectly in a race, he was looking for perspective. Lupton’s response, simply saying nothing would change, reinforced that his value exists independently of his swimming results or times. ## Coaching High-Achieving Groups In his professional capacity, Lupton coaches groups of high achievers who perform intense aerobic sets of 600 to 1,200 yards. He finds it rewarding to encourage these athletes to step outside their comfort zones. However, he recognizes that this high-intensity approach is not appropriate for every child, especially those still developing habits. ## Long-term Athletic Development Ultimately, swimming is a sport defined by hard lessons about effort and endurance. If a child remains in the sport, they will eventually face these realities naturally. Parents who refrain from constant intervention allow their children to develop a genuine, internal motivation that is far more sustainable than external pressure. ## Sources covering this story - https://swimswam.com/say-nothing-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-swimming/ — --- _Summary written by Brifing from the original reporting. Copyright in the original article belongs to its publisher; read the full piece at the link above._